I’m not the first, without doubts not the last one - here is my 3c to this stream of stories how Dell tech support is useful and friendly.
I bought a printer last year. Easy to use, easy to print ink printer – as simple as possible and cheap. Last week a cartridge engine started to behave rather weird hitting right or left side of the printer and moving somewhat fast putting my finger at risk when trying to remove the cartridges (which were not accessible anyway). Orange light on the top of the printer and some error message on the small LCD display – my mistake as I realized later on - I didn’t write it down.
So I called Dell at home products support line, hit some numbers to get into the correct queue, after 20 minutes of waiting I was asked for a service tag, some contact details and the problem description. I explained the issue the best as I could but I stuck on the LCD error message. I said I don’t know, I don’t remember – I don’t think it’s relevant anyway. A pleasant voice in the telephone told me that they need to figure out whether it’s the printer or the cartridges problem. Fair enough, but from the description I gave her I thought they will have to collect the printer anyway either to fix the cartridge or the printer itself. The lady was still asking me for the error message. Guess what – I asked for a manager. He asked me for the error message as well.
I understand these people use scripts but the script doesn’t say to turn off brain. I got frustrated (and you know it’s not that easy in my case) and I asked the manager exactly: Are you telling me based on what I’ve already told you that you’ll not support this printer until I give you exact error message from the printer? Yes - he said – until we have the error message we’ll not send anybody for collection. I asked for this statement on paper (I mean in email). Guess what - have I ever received that statement? Dude, you gotta be kidding!
And yes, I’ve told them I’m Dell ex-employee and I know how they work and I know how to troubleshoot (I thought this might do the situation easier, again: I was wrong).
What I did wrong? Was I misinterpreting something? I gave more information that typical user of this printer model would give and still was asked for basics?!
Later on, when I came back home I wrote down the error message from the stupid LCD display: “clear the carrier jam and then press button to continue”. I don’t know how it can be helpful. I couldn’t clear the “carrier jam” anyway …
So the story continues - I called next day again, having my service tag, case number and own questions ready to ask. Some other guy asked me exactly the same questions like day before. I was quite surprised I must say so I asked him what case description he got with this case number. The lady day before didn’t even bother to write down everything I told limiting the description to how much I was unhelpful to help her (!) with the troubleshooting. OK, that was enough. My blood started to boil, my pulse rose dramatically. I asked for manager and told him about everything what happened last day, same questions asked again and the statement denying support. He apologized, explained that the last agent I spoke to was wrong and put me back to the first line agent who told me my printer will be replaced the following day. So what was the question about the LCD error message for? He told me as long as printer is making a strange noise there is no need to know what is going on on LCD. Wow, every day something new and every day is different I thought and after all kind of address checks I asked for the manager again. Told him that the support line agent’s knowledge is inconsistent - I’ve been asked for same questions but the answers and actions taken were rather different. I had a pretty nice conversation with this man and was finally happy and confident that’s the happy end. They only had one day slip in the new printer delivery. Fair enough, that’s Ireland - I should be happy it was one day only anyway.
What’s the lesson from this story? For myself – probably will never buy Dell printer, at least the cheap one. In case of calling tech support for help I’ll check and write down everything even the most obvious and stupid errors and steps. For Dell – I guess the first agent I spoke to got faired. Despite all this - I think they chose the wrong path – they decided to cut support costs instead of making it the best on market (which I believe Dell server support is one of the best across all server manufacturers); gave first line agents scripts and told to turn off their brains; brainwashed first line agents to use same phrases and sentences (“Is there anything else I can help you with?”) – I hate this, it proves they don’t think, it doesn’t make good relationship with customer despite all politeness and nice voice with bad accent they have. Oh, and I guess the most important for anything you want from Dell – things get easier if you start screaming and asking for managers. And I’ve been working for Dell in tech support for servers. I know things changed after I left and I see it goes the same way, the wrong one. I wish lads in Cherrywood the best and keep fighting!
So dude, you better don’t call Dell!

Man, what I can tell you - this is how callcenter works in that country - you really don’t have to think - just follow procedures. The problem with that is MOST of the 1st line agents (in all businesess) don’t do that - and that is causing problems - and that’s the reason why all looks fake and stupid.
And “If there is anything else I can do for you?” questing is one of the MUST HAVE in call script. And guess what? It’s because it is ment to build good agent-customer relation - if it doesn’t it means that either agent asked it incorectly or…. customer is just a dick (which isn’t a case in your case… I guess…)
good luck next time!
btw.
If you have time made up some problem and call your ISP now. You’ll have even more fun!
Acctually - that’s great think to do! I’ll do it myself! Oh, I forgot…. I work for my ISP…
And guess what - how many satisfaction surveys I’ve got from Dell? 7! Seven. 3 plus 4, sqrt(49). Can you imagine? Their service sucks and they ask me seven times for opinion how much they suck. So I told them - 7 times - the service was poor, I’m not happy and Dell sucks. But problem is solved.
Sorry to say your first mistake was buying a Dell printer, no matter how cheap. In fact I even advise people who have received one free as a package to use it till the cartridges run out and then ditch it. Dell inkjet printers are basically rebadges Lexmark printers which are very expensive to run and Dell cartridge prices are even worse. Your best bet is to stop trying to fix this machine and go and buy yourself a cheap Canon printer, all the current Pixma range offer economical printing with good quality results.